Today was “Snowday” in Atlanta, GA. The snow never showed but, Altanta was shut down-just in case it did. Like all other construction workers- my brother was off work- so he took mom on a road trip- up 575north to Jasper, Ga. They were probably together for about 31/2 hours.
She called me tonight at her usual time and this was her conversation. I, like usual, did not say much.
Hello Cheryl, I need you to help me. I just don’t want to be in a place like this- I still want to be independent. I had a thought today, do you want to trade houses with me? That is an option that you might like.
I’m not as fast as I used to be- but I can still think for myself. How would you kids feel if I put you in place when you were little and fell down. It’s the same thing- I fall down and you kids put me in a place like this. (Note: mom has not fallen)
I don’t like to be around a bunch of people and I don’t want to sit in this room.
I’m still capable of taking care of myself and I want to do that as long as I can and I don’t want to be here where there rare a bunch of people bithcing all the time about one thing or antoher. The city people bithch all the time about the food. I tell them to eat it and shut up. If it was everyonce in a while it would be ok but every meal everyday it’s the same people bitching about the food.
Frustrated agervated and disappointed- that’s what I am. I don’t understand why I have to be here -so, I had one or two falls – what if I put in the closet and never let you out. That’s basically what you are doing to me- you’ve put me in a storage unit. Why won’t you kids listen to me when I try to talk to you. I
I thought about getting a lawyer, and going back to my house
Paul has no right to put me here- but the nurses say that I don’t need to be here, but you kids think I do- I did not get lost- I think I smarted off to Rich because I was cleaning greenbeans in the front yard and he thought that was inapproporate. How is that inapporoprate?
That’s not his business if I want to sit in the grass and string my greenbeans. I did not run out of the house without my clothes on I didn’t even talk to any of the neighbors- because I never knew what they were telling you kids. I’m really disappointed in you kids for putting me here.
You and your brother do what you want to do – I should be allowed to do what I want to do- my money is being wasted and when I need to be here all my money will be gone….and that’s not fair I saved my money so you kids wouldn’t have to pay for it. And I don’t’ know how to talk to you kids anymore. I do not want to talk to your brother anymore because I know I will say something that I will regret. But, I’ve got a house that I paid for and I should be there.
I consider this adult abuse- because I don’t want to be here. When I woke up here after someone gave me some pills to get me here- I didn’t know where I was. Then the nurse came in and saw me awake and she was happy to see me awake.
I don’t trust anything that anybody says ….and that’s sad. I’ve been pushed this way and that way and I don’t deserve to be treated this way. I do trust you,Cheryl or I wouldn’t be calling you. I hope you can help me with this so I don’t’ have to make a big issue out of it.
And ummmmm just I just want to go back to my house and mind my own business and stay there as long as I can. And if I can’t stay there anymore then I will do something else. But -I just can’t deal with this, so something is gonna have to give.
She hastears at this point and I ask her if she’s ok, she says yes, I ask her if she had any visitors today or if she went anywhere.
There was no activity going on today. I went down this moring to the exercise class and I have a book that I’m reading. No one was here todoay No, no one was here , if there were I don’t remember it. Maybe I’m just a whinny baby, but I don’t’ want to be here, and it would be one thing if I hadn’t planned and tried to take of myself when I got old and you kids put me here but, that’s not the way it is- I have money I have a house I was able to pay off before I quit work and I feel I have a right to be there…maybe you can help me or maybe you can’t I’m gonna try to handle this. If you can’t help me I’ll have to think of a different plan.
So, I’ll be fine- if you kids can’t cooperate with me and my house I’ll make a decision on which way I’m gonna go.
I appreciate your help.Love you, bye
It’s like this song is in her head and she has to get it out nightly. Once she gets it out (sometimes it takes more than one call to me) she must be “over it” and can calm down and get on with her evening.
I’m just glad she can get it out and the groove unstuck.
Peace & LoveCheryl Doreen
4 thoughts on “Dorothy’s Dementia”
Cheryl, reading the posts now. I don’t know how you do it, but I know YOU and that explains much. You’re an amazingly selfless woman (without being a pushover). Love you dearly.
Hi, Cheryl. Reading this now. I don’t know how you deal with this, but I know YOU, and that explains much. You’re the most selfless person I know. I love you dearly.
So glad you are writing this. My Mom passed in 2016 and this is such a parallel; so difficult for Everyone, patient, family & friends. I miss her everyday but not the torment she suffered with dementia.