Grief, Guilt, Toleration & Reality.

Grief, Guilt, Toleration & Reality

I have been struggling the last several months with all three of these words.

Grief: The pain of mind produced by loss, misfortune, injury, or evils of any kind; sorrow, regret.

Guilt: Remorse caused by feeling responsible for some offense.

Toleration: The act of tolerating; the allowance of that which is not wholly approved.

Reality: Actual being or existence of anything; truth; fact; in distinction from mere appearance.

We all go through waves of these words at times.  Sometimes there are just a few “matters” that haunt us and other times there are a multitude of “matters” that finally disturb us to the point where we need to surrender all the emotions in order to pick up and move forward. 

Ok, I know you all know the meaning of these words- I just had to type them so they are here for me when I need them.  

The experienced while watching Dorothy go through this disease is sometimes overcome with thoughts of guilt- guilt that I cannot do more that I am- or can I? 

  Should I take her in and take care of her 24-7.

Should I live my life to help her live the rest of her days out?  

Grief follows – with the fact that she is sick, and she is not going to get better at all. 

She will never be who she was in mind. 

The dragging on of her life seems so unfair.  

The Toleration and Reality finally ground me again so I can get back to normal.

The toleration that this —is the way it is, and I cannot change it or fix it in any way.        

The Reality that it’s okay. This is the way it is. This will pass. I am doing all that I am capable of.

The Way It Is- Bruce Hornsby & the Range

I was rereading my posts- to see if I could find anything that I’d said before -to help bring me back up from my hole I was stuck in- and I found this.   I like it, so I’m going to share again.

Acceptance=the willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation (Webster)

We need to dig deep for this first step- most times, what’s hard to accept certain situations -that life has thrown our way.

Faith = the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1)

We need this to understand that there are things we cannot feel, touch, or see- but they exist.

We all have this- I feel my faith through my intuition- I just know it to be so.

Strength = the emotional or mental qualities necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult. (Webster)

We need to have this to continue to stay grounded and be prepared. I believe if you will stand in the “superhero pose” (feet apart, hands on hips, shoulders back, head held high) right before you need your strength the most- it’s always there for you.

It’s heartbreaking -dealing with a terminal ill loved one.  They seem to have lost Acceptance, Faith, and Strength.  The caregivers/family members still carry it– till the end.  

It will be okay.

Love & Light,

Cheryl Doreen