Dorothy’s Dementia

Dorothy’s exhausted- I’m exhausted- Paul’s exhausted.

  Some things are fun to do over and over and over and over again.  Riding your bike, walking in the woods, watching a hawk float on the wind tunnel he has caught, playing with your kids/grandkids/friends, laughing with friends and family, movies, books, swimming, waiting for the first flower of spring to bloom,walking on the beach, gazing at the night sky-the list goes on and on and on.  It’s fun! It’s fulfilling- I don’t take any of this for granted.

Listening to your loved one in a demented state is the total opposite. Gloomy-because it brings you down, miserable- because you hear their sad song over and over and over again, heartbreaking- because you hurt for them, frustrating- because there is nothing you can do change the situation.

It’s really hard to be focused and be able to surround yourself with a bubble so the negative baggage that goes along with listening to or caring for a loved doesn’t get into your spirit.  

 I’m pretty much focused and wear my blinders when talking to mom- especially on days like yesterday- she started calling me at 12:30- demanding that I come and get her and take her home.  Not tomorrow, not next week but today right now.  I Breathe in –  I breathe out.   The next question I ask is why? What’s wrong.    

I already know what she is going to say- but at least the conversation is back to her and I don’t have to answer any of her questions.  I just have to agree.

She calls me 6 more times during the day. It was not a good day for her.

I love you mom.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen