Mom calls It’s 6:10 she’s distraught. This is her story for tonight. I say very little.
She’s in tears, one of the men that sits at her table was picking on her today. I’m not taking no for an answer- I’m going back home. I don’t need to be in a place like this, and I have no desire to be in a place like this. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I just can’t take this type of people any longer. The ones that think they know it all and I just can’t handle it anymore. I’m not going to do it. I assume that my house is still sitting vacant- or have you moved in. Well- we’ll have to decide when you move in what I will do. I’m thinking of getting a small apartment or maybe trying to find an Assisted Living. Get in a decent place. Or I might go back to Germantown. That’s where I want to have my ashes there where dad is. So, I need your help – to get me back to Ohio. I’m assuming that my house – you want it you can have it. But, you know I’ll you and I will have to discuss it more. And I’ll have to have to see what which —what we can do – how we can do it. Because right now I’m very anxious- and I would like for you to help me, can you come this weekend, or do you have a day off you can come and get me and decide what you can do with me. I don’t know if I want to stay around Paul. I was thinking last week you always wanted to be in Woodstock- you can move, and I can move into your house then I would still be here, and you could come and see me. But, and you know, I don’t think I’m quite ready to go into an assisted living yet. I think that’s one of the problems here— there is not enough freedom of choice. You can stay in your room or can do what they tell you to do. I can’t I just can’t handle these types of personalities of people. They – they’re just all so smart and they act like they know it all- they just irritate me – if you say something they look at you’re like your stupid I just can’t be here. I don’t like people, Paul’s the same way he doesn’t like to be around people I can’t do this anymore I’ve tried hard to adjust, and I can’t. how many times has Paul put me in places like this and I go nuts there’s’ been several, he wants to get rid of me. Well- I don’t know. Like I say if you want my house you can have it and I’ll move into your house. I can move into an apartment or something I know I don’t’ want to be here I can’t deal with it. I get more and more upset. I’m sorry Cheryl, I’m so upset. (Tears and deep breaths.) You think about what the best thing for me might be. You want to live in Woodstock – you can move into my house and I’ll move into your house. I don’t’ know how much longer you are going to work. But, I- you think about it. I’m hanging up now, I’m just wasting your time.
She’s upset and I hate it it! So, I wait a few minutes and call her. She’s sad when she answers the phone and I tell her it’s a pretty evening and it will be light outside for another hour. Please put your shoes and sweatshirt on and go for a walk.
Ok, Cheryl I’ll put my shoes on and call you back.
She calls back about 2 hours later. I miss the call – I’m out for a walk -off the grid- (: Walking is the best time to be “still”.
She answers and I answer- she says hello.
She starts all over again.
I hate it for her.
Peace & Love,