This is a post I did back in February- for some reason it did not get posted properly.
Just thought I’d share . (-:
These days, mom sometimes calls me – that is -when she can find my phone number- which I write down for her every time I’m there. I’m not sure what she does with it- but I’m pretty sure she puts it in a safe place. When I don’t hear from her, I know that she has forgotten the safe haven. And that’s okay.
Yesterday, both Paul and I went to see her, and the first thing we do is hug! We took her out to lunch, then we drove her back to the home. We went to the game room and she and I worked on a puzzle for a while. She was content and her friend Mary was at another table working intently on her puzzle. All was calm.
While we were there, a resident- Walter, who’s 95 was wandering around aimlessly, he stopped and asked me where the memory section was- it seems his wife was recently moved to that section of the facility. I remembered that I hadn’t seen her the past several weeks and wondered if she had passed on. I walked with him to that section of the facility and found a nurse who told him that his wife “couldn’t come out” for a while. Oh my gosh! This interaction just broke my heart, the confusion on his face and the emptiness in his eyes were heart wrenching. They were the couple always holding hands – sitting side by side on the couch. Dancing cheek to cheek at the Friday Fun Music Hour. I actually teared up. And I prayed that he will have someone else he can lean on to help him get over this heartbreak. I can’t imagine what he endures every second of every day.
Several hours later Dorothy found my number and she called me, asking when I was going to come and visit her. My response was “Maybe tomorrow I can make it that way”. Her reply was “well, nothing is more important than your mother”. I then asked her how her puzzle was coming – and we talked about that for a few minutes and
It’s sucks! It’s hard! Its life! We all live and die we all die. Most of the time it’s just tough watching our loved ones experience the last season of life. If we stay strong and we stay connected to them, they will know that they matter and that they are loved, and we can have peace knowing that we did all we could do for them – even if they don’t remember.
If you have someone in a home- or isolated at home- reach out with a hand written note- go see them and give a friendly smile and a warm hug- will lift both of you up for a while.
You will need that note, friendly smile and warn hug, “Further on Down the Road”- Eric Clapton, Old Sock album.
Love and Light!