still confused

Mom called at the normal time and her song is a little different today.  I answered the phone -upbeat as always-and said Hello mom! She said “Cheryl, I need your help”.  I said ok mom- Where are you?   She took a deep breath and told me she was at the place- where she was with Paul and I for a while– and then we left her.  She was upset that we didn’t tell her we were leaving- she didn’t expect to be left alone. She wants to know why we did this to her —for no reason- we had no right to take her to a place like this stay for a few weeks and then just leave.   

She asks if doctors have been in to see her and what the diagnosis is.   Am I on any medication? – she asks.   I answer yes- and tell her the name of her doctor and what medication she is on.  She says that she is not getting any medication and that there is never anyone around and there is nothing to do.  She informs me that the men get in their cars and go off and play cards and come back for meals-she says ” I don’t know what the ladies do here, I never seen any”.


I let her talk; I don’t say much—I just let her talk it out.    She goes from this mental state to the state of – “I think I need to move back to Ohio; I know people there and – (tearfully, she says-) I want to be buried next to dad”.  “Dad” is my dad- she always calls him that- rarely by his name Dick or my husband- she just calls him dad when she’s talking aobut him- and I have always known who she is talking about. 

From here she goes on to tell me that –she wants to go to her friend Jan’s place- there is so much to do there- there is nothing to do here –  you never see anyone out of their rooms and there is no one in charge. 

Then she moves on to “I’m not as nervous as I used to be -as when I first got here- how long have I been here?   I feel ok –I know my way around more, I can get to the dining room and I know where my room is, I know how to go outside and walk.  I’m just fine here.  I’ve adjusted very well, I think – don’t you? “

Dorothy finishes with “I can still take care of myself – but it’s weird- you don’t know what to do when you get old- there are too many people bossing you. When your brain slows down it seems that it’s just hard to process it all.   Don’t get old Cheryl.  Thanks for talking to me, I love you, bye”. 

And she has survived another sundowner’s episode.   It sucks! 

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

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