Saturday was a beautiful day and I was able to spend some time with mom sitting out front of her “place”. The breeze through the breezeway was refreshing and the sky was showing off some of her clouds. It was a good, calm, peaceful visit.
Dorothy talked again about wanting to go back to Germantown, because that is where she wants to die. It occurred to me that when my dad was sick back in 1981 and dying of cancer- he wanted to move back home. So, they did, and he died a few months later. My mom’s mom Beulah also wanted to go back home when she was nearing the end of her time here on earth. We arranged for her to go back home to Kentucky, and she died within the year.
I wonder if we need to think about taking mom back to Germantown so she will know she is at home and maybe she will pass on too? I know that won’t happen, but I wonder if it could be that easy.
A few hours after I had left mom- my phone starts ringing. She wants to know when I’m going to come and see her? When am I going to come and get her and take her for a ride? When am I going to come and take her home? Telling me that she does not need to be in “this place” she can do everything for herself and “they” don’t do anything for her. Every 15 minutes or so the phone rings…… every fifteen minutes or so I answer the phone. I must admit that I get really agitated at times with her calling nonstop- but, I know she does not know that she is doing it and in the moment she needs a reassuring voice on the other end telling her what she wants to hear. Sometimes it brings me to tears- not for me – but for her, I hate that she is experiencing this illness.
Then out of the blue, she stops calling- which I am thankful, someone or something has captured her attention. It’s close to the full moon- so It’s going to be a long week. (:
It’s 6:30 p.m. and Dorothy calls- she’s going through the toughest part of her day. I answer, listen to her song a while
And I tell her to go outside and sit in the rocking chair, enjoy the breeze and watch the sky. She says, ok Cheryl, I do that.
Love you mom,
Love & Light,