A lot can happen in a second, minute, hour, a day, week, month, year, decade and so on…. If you just be still for a while and let your mind wonder back to all the things you have seen, heard, accomplished and explored you will recover tons of “moments”. Dorothy is stuck on a second within a minute within an hour and a day and a week and a month even a year and a decade. She’s trapped in time- this time is now, and this time is back then. She remembers everything- just not in the order of which it happened. That is what happens with demented folks. When they are stuck-all we can do is just listen to them and let them say what they want or need to say. Agree with them- because it really is all about them. It’s what they think -it is their reality- we should not deny them of this, these are just their moments- that make up the disease- it makes up their life- as they know it. It doesn’t matter if we think it’s true- they do.
So, just- “Roll With It” Steve Winwood (-: Because it’s not about you.
Most times with any disease it’s not within our power to fix it. Broken bones, broken hearts, we can help heal- we can even help folks heal from cancer, strokes, heart attacks, respiratory and Covid. Some die, some live- but we at least understand how they are feeling- because they can tell us, they are still here in reality and that helps us help them.
With Alzheimer’s and Dementia, the only thing we can do for a loved one is finding a way to be there, be present and agree with what they say. As outlandish and unrealistic and very old (maybe before our time or things we were never aware of) it’s their stories and in the moment that’s all they have. It sucks! It’s hard. And you will have to figure out what you can do- if anything. Some folks can’t deal with it and that’s ok- some folks want to be present all the time and not let go, that’s ok. Find your happy place- do what you can do without sacrificing your own life- you have a life to live too- and no one else can live that life but you.
There are fantastic folks who are trained in the Memory Care world- to me they are a gift sent from heaven above- to help those of us who do not have that gift- but are able to still be involved, but not responsible.
If you ever need someone to listen to your story- feel free to reach out to me via this format- I will be happy to be that someone.
Love and Light!