Faith

Dorothy has done something to her phone- either lost it or “fixed it”.  She hasn’t called me for two days.  I’ve called and asked twice for someone to check on it and see what she might have done with it or to it.  There is NO telling.  (-:

 I call once a day and ask how she is doing and they always say she is doing good- Dawn, the “good nurse” told me today that she is getting weepy-        )-:     I asked how the new medication was working and she said it was helping.  She did say that Dorothy is very sad at times – I know that  it’s all part of the progression of the disease and it sucks!   Cancer sucks! Dementia Sucks!  Sickness Sucks!   I think it sucks so bad because there is nothing- absolutely nothing we can do to fix it.  

I can’t imagine waking up every day and not knowing where you are. What has happened to you and when someone is going to come and get you and take you home.  I can’t imagine longing for your long-lost loved ones like you just saw them a few days ago.  I can’t imagine those times when you realize what is happening to you and you are scared, upset, confused and wonder WHY this had to happen to you.   It has got to be worse in these times – 10 months ago we were able to come and go at random (8-5, 7 days a week) to go and visit our loved ones.  Take them out for a few hours- take them overnight, or just go into their room and do some deep cleaning/ or purging of the random things a demented person collects.  Or just sit and visit with them and their friends.  We now – for the last 9 months have found ourselves at the mercy of the Assisted Living/ Nursing Homes – we have to have the faith that the worker bees are doing the correct, humane, nice, caring job that we are paying them for.   Faith- it is blind – that’s for sure-but, don’t lose it- even when it’s the darkest- it’s still there. 

Faith: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Hebrews 11:1

 I’m excited to visit mom in a few days – the first time since we moved her.  I’m excited to see her, I’m nervous that it will just upset her, I’m curious to see what is sup with her phone. I’m happy to be taking her a Snowman Christmas tree and a big jar of mixed nuts.  I’m nervous that all she will talk about is if we are going to take her home for Christmas.  I’m happy I can see her – even if it’s at a distance, even if all she does is complain.  

I’m looking forward to April 2021- hopefully all this pandemic will be over.  It’s a pandemic, they come every 100 years- it doesn’t matter who’s in charge- who’s not in charge- it comes.  There is no one to blame.   Cancer Sucks! Dementia Sucks! Sickness Sucks!   The Pandemic Sucks!     But even with all this Suckyness, “Life Is Good!”

Keep the Faith: “to continue to believe in, trust or support someone or something when it is difficult to do so”.

Love and Light!

Cheryl Doreen 

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