5:00 AM Dorothy calls- telling me she is concerned about her husband- he did not come home last night. She calls me Cheryl- I’m not sure from the tone of her voice that she knows I’m her daughter. She tries to remember his name- then she comes up with it. “ Dick- Dick did not come home last night- he was mad at me yesterday afternoon and he left, I assume he went out with his friends- I’m very concerned, he has not come home”. I tell her that he probably just slept on one of his friend’s couch and he would be home in the morning when he wakes up- Mom it’s 5:00 am it’s not time to get up yet- go back to sleep for a few hours. NO, I can’t go back to bed, I’m already up and dresses and I’m worried about Dick, h did not come home last night- he as mad at me yesterday…….. and the confusion continues…. I finally get her settled down and I’m assuming she’s laying on the bed to get back to sleep. She calls again at 6 AM , 7AM and every hour on the hour the rest of the day. Sigh!
I answer most of the calls- most of the time it’s only a minute or two conversation- I tell her I’m at work and I’ll have to call her back. She always apologizes for bothering me – she can’t believe she doesn’t not know what day it is. I talk to her long enough to either help her or hurt her. I’m of the opinion that I’m helping her- but maybe not. Who knows?
I do know that when she is not calling me with her song of frustration, concern and confusion she is fine – she talks to folks, walks, plays puzzles and reads. I do know that sometimes she cannot find her room or remember what number it is- sometimes these are what the calls are about. I do know that she is frustrated, concerned, confused and sad. They have added another drug to her daily routine- a small amount of “anxiety” medicine. Hopefully this will help with her frustration and sadness. I don’t think it will help with her confusion or concern about what is happening to her. But who knows?
I have an appointment to go see her this Thursday- who thought you’d have to make an appointment to go see your loved one in the assisted living facility?
Love and Light,
Cheryl Doreen
Dorothy's Dementia 