Sometimes, some of the nurses at the facility will let the residence use their phone so they can call their loved ones. I will answer the call if I know the number and I have gotten into the habit of putting all the nurses’ numbers in my phone, when I get these calls- so I don’t just blow it off as “spam”.
I did not recognize this number, so I let it go to voice mail. When I listened to it, it was mom in a cheery voice- it went like this:
“Hello Cheryl, you know my name and my number, and I am calling to tell you that we are going to be in Germantown. I don’t know how long, maybe just a day or longer. Let me see if I can find out”. There is silence for a few moments- and I can hear her asking someone how long are we going to be in Germantown?. She comes back to the phone and continues “welp- anyway we are going be there, and if you have the opportunity to look out the window – look out the window and see if you can see us driving by”. Love you, By! Click. I can only assume her and her friends are the we, which makes me smile.
I’m sure the conversation would have been different if I would have answered the phone- with “why am I here? I want to go to Germantown. I don’t need to be in a place like this. Who put me here”? On and on and on she would go and only get herself frustrated and all worked up. Instead, she was talking into thin air and wanted to let me know that she was okay. The moment of anxiety had passed. She was going to be ok.
When I went to see mom one of the nurses- Joyce, came up to me and asked me if I got moms message. I said yes, and I thanked her. She said I’m so sorry I hope it did not bother you, I stopped her right there and gave her a hug and told her I welcome all phone calls from mom.
I can handle all of them. She might not like the answers I give her, but I will always talk to her.
Joyce was so happy – and I know why- most of the folks that are in Memory Care and or Assisted Living are dropped off and not seen by their loved ones very often or at all. And the nurses know who important it is for the family to come and visit their loved ones. The resident needs to know they are not forgotten.
Do what you can.
Peace & Love & Light,
Cheryl Doreen
Dorothy's Dementia 