Dorothy was in good spirits yesterday when I went for a visit.
I won’t go into the issue with her bathroom sink being clogged and me having to report it. I have questions- but will go into it with the home. Just be aware and “on the lookout” for these situations -if your loved one is in Memory Care- and please don’t be afraid to speak up. Speak up loudly, firm, and politely, you are your loved one’s voice at this stage of their lives.
She was happy to see me, as was I to see her. (-: she sat on the bed as I swapped out clean clothes for dirty ones- and did my “easter egg hunting”. She was excited to take a shower and get “clean” as she called it. Be on the lookout for used “day diapers” you will find them everywhere.
After wards we went out to the dining area, sat at a table, and colored. I had gone picked out a simple coloring book- the ones you would purchase for a two-year-old. With just one picture per page- of a dog or a rooster or a duck. Simple one object per page.
She picked out a rooster- we sat, and we colored for about 20 minutes. I- in that time colored two pages- when I looked at hers, she only managed to color just a small portion of one section of the rooster’s comb. As I watched her, she was so focused on what she was doing, it was like she had to get as close to the line of color she had just placed down before she would draw another line. It was “perfection” not scribble, scribble as a small child does. She finally looked at me and told me she would have to finish coloring later- it was too hard for her to do right now.
As we sat there coloring, we talked- like old times, she told me that I did not have to worry about her, that she was fine ‘here’. She assured me that she felt safe, and she had some friends. She asked about Jessica and the boys, she asked if Paul ever married that girl. ??? First, I have ever heard of Paul wanting to marry someone, but I’m sure she was thinking of Paul and someone else at the same time. But, maybe not all families have secrets. She told me I was a good daughter for coming to see her and take care of her. Which brought warmth to my heart and a few tears to my eyes. The point is- she was present for few minutes, she was mom.
Her friend Martin came around the corner and she told me she had to go. So, I packed up my colors and left. (-; not without hug.
It’s all inclusive- all of it- all the crazy stages dementia puts them through and us as well.
Peace- Norah Jones (worth a listen at least once a week (-: ) There’s a place that I know
Where the sycamores grow
And the daffodils have their fun
Where the cares of the day
Seem to slowly fade away
In the glow of the evening sun
Peace, when the day is done ….
-Steven Rimmon Siler/ John R Mandeville
Love and Light,