Dorothy’s Dementia dealing with quilt

A reader asked me” how do we deal with the guilt”. 

For me guilt is like grief – it’s individual.

Some of us never get over it- we bury it deep within and never address it.   When we do this- we are subject to being sad, angry, heavy and dark.  Never- is a long time.- to long to carry such a burden.

Some of us are outwardly open about it- we want everyone to know how we are feeling. We express it constantly -reminding ourselves and others of our guilt or grief. If we do this – we are taken as dramatic and weak – we are seen as always relentlessly wallowing in self-pity.  We can lose relationships this way-it’s a total turn off.

 Some of us talk it out-  with a friend or professional and try to understand it- we fall to our knees and cry- bawl like a baby- get it out . We learn to accept it and move on. We are not heavy or dramatic- we know that it’s just life. We move on.

 My daughter helps me more than she knows with the one line she tells me when I’m confused or upset about something- she says “It’s NOT about you mom”.   She’s right- not everything is about you.

I am in a good place on this journey with mom- I don’t carry any quilt or grief around about Dorothy. She wouldn’t want me to. My brother and I are very blessed that she was able to educate us about the stages and her wishes. While it is not easy, we are respecting her wishes. Yes, some days it just downright sucks.

Years ago, I subscribed to “A Network for Grateful Living”. It’s a wonderful site with daily “inspirational” quotes. The one below came to me the same day that the reader asked me the question. 

I believe it to be an Angle Wing Breeze. (-:

WORD FOR THE DAY  
By learning to accept and even embrace
the inevitable sorrows of life,
we can experience a more enduring
sense of happiness.
SHARON SALZBERG

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

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