Mom started calling at noon today – she’s having another bad day. She has no idea what day it is or what happened today- what she had for breakfast-or what happened three minutes ago. And to be honest- I’m not in the mood for this today- but I suck it up and look past the disease and just focus on Dorothy. That’s what it’s about- mom. So, I put her on mute- breathe in and out- and try to not listen or take it seriously- I have found when I don’t feel like listening- this is the best thing to do- just be there, but, block it out.
Some days are hard for me to be on the receiving end of the struggle that she endures. I totally understand why people cannot deal with their loved ones in this situation. I’m sure it becomes a chore and a burden- and when it comes to that level for me- I will have to decide what to do about it.
I don’t think I will have a hard time letting go- and scaling back from what I do now. I do not want to remember mom as a burden- or put her on mute all the time or get frustrated. It’s not about me.
So, as I have her on mute and she is singing her song, I reflect on all the good times we had- I try to go way back to when the family was a family- growing up on Cherry Street in Germantown, Ohio. These were some of the happiest moments of my life. Listen to “The Innocent Age”- Dan Fogelberg
Peace & Love,