Dorothy’s Dementia Continues

  I often get asked how I deal with my mom- Dorothy- and the stage of life she is in right now- I usually answer in bullet points:

  • YOU have to understand that they are not going to get any better- they are not going to go back to the “normal” person you remember
    • The sooner that YOU can make peace with this- the sooner you will be more at peace with the situation and better able to help them feel loved and appreciated- that’s all they want
  • Just be there for them- they need someone to listen to them 
    •  and most importantly agree with them- no matter how “out there” they get- we all need someone we can count on- be that person- for them
  • Be prepared to hear hateful things about other family members and friends
    • Remember they know not what they say
  • Less is more- when they say something that is not true- “Let It Be” (yes, the Beatles) 
    • It doesn’t matter- be a duck- let it roll off your back- be sure to put them on mute- before you laugh out loud- or cry
  • Continue to take them outside- out of the house take them anywhere- 
    • let them order off the menu whatever they way want- it doesn’t matter
  • Find a “buddy” who YOU can team up with- someone in the family or a friend- who can deal with the “issues” that you can’t- and vice versa- 
    • This is huge- you will need someone to laugh with and cry with – over this situation- someone who knows exactly what you are experiencing
      • You might not be able to deal with them in person-but you are a perfect listener for them- your “buddy” has different gifts- they might be the one who can go see them- but not pick up the phone when they call
  • Did I mention that they just need someone to listen to them?

While everyone’s experience is different – the “just being there” for them is universal- Just do what you can- 

Just “Let It Be!”

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

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