Too many people in charge

Dorothy is as good as can be expected during these crazy times.   The lockdown has been reenforced due to a few worker bees being tested positive for Covid.  So, no outside visitation- and everyone is quarantined again-I just hope they get them outside in the early morning hours for some fresh air.  I can’t imagine!

Last week when I saw mom – the nurse “in charge”  came outside and introduced herself- it didn’t go well. I had been waiting on a phone call from her all week that the area manager said would happen. I still have a little bit of an attitude about the entire way the episode went down and the vibes I’m receiving from the nurse. I am keeping an open mind with her- she is stressed, and I could not do what she does.   At one point in our conversation she stated that  mom would NOT be returning to her old room-that she would be staying in memory care.   This did not sit well with me-I went on to reminder her that  “everyone” said the move would be temporary-until we could get her meds adjusted ( the acting manger, both doctors, herself).   So, I believe we will be in a power struggle here with the doctors orders and the nurses.  She did inform me that she was going to call me and give me weekly updates on mom-I haven’t heard a word this week.   We will see how it goes – the lack of communication is the biggest problem I have right now.  

Yesterday when I took mom a card and some flowers-I met the new man in charge.  I introduced myself and told him I would like to set up a meeting in a week or two to go over a few things.  I did not want to bombard him then and there-hopefully all will work out and I will not have to visit with him.

 The psychiatric doctor called me last Saturday morning and told me that mom did not need any change in medication and that she did not need to be in memory care.   Happy news!   I asked her how long it would take to get mom back to her old room- and she said she was going to call the nurse and send over the orders. She also stated that it shouldn’t take long.   I have been quite all week to let the “process” take place and on Friday I called moms regular doctor to see if the move had been made.   She said she knew that the doctor called the nurse but hadn’t heard anything else.  I let the doctor know of the “meeting” I had with the nurse the week prior and my concerns as to her not wanting to send mom back to her old room. She was going to call the nurse herself and let me know what was happening.  When she returned her call to me she stated that the  nurse said she did not get a message from the psychiatric doctor.  This really didn’t upset me because I have no trust in the nurse at this point.  She has not done anything she said she was going to do up to this point.   Moms doctor is setting up a meeting next week  with the psychiatric doctor, the nurse, herself and me to figure it all out.   The bottom line is-I just want mom to be comfortable and safe, and still have a sense of control of going in and out when she wants.    

Dorothy is still the same, calls me when she can find a phone-sometimes she talks about “granny dying and coming up to Germantown for her funeral-but the bus-stopped at this restaurant and the pandemic is going on due to Russia getting involved and no-one can leave.   They did give me a clean room and everyone is so nice-I’m just worried about how much this is going to cost me.  You may need to send me some money.”  She also worries about not getting to the funeral in time.   

Sometimes I don’t have to say anything-she just talks, other times she will ask me for my opinion.   I “wing it” in the moment-it doesn’t matter it’s her story and these days I just play along.  Sometimes when she calls early in the mornings she tell me that she has been waiting on the train all night and it did not come.   She wonders why.    I wonder how much longer she will have to endure this unrealistic lifestyle.

I must admit that this is really hard-the easy way out would be to not stay involved, connected or  concerned.  But, I’m not wired like that-I need to feel like I am making a difference. So, I will travel this hard road and continue to pray to God for grace and comfort for Dorothy Lee.

Love and Light,

Cheryl Doreen

One thought on “Too many people in charge

  1. You’ve been given the gift of a lot more patience than I would be able to muster. God must be answering your prayers.


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