Paul and I went to see mom together. That day when we walked in Dorothy had her finger in Diamond Jim’s face- giving him a what for. I had been in his shoes hundreds of times when I was younger, so I knew what he was experiencing. I felt bad for him, so I went straight over to see what the issue was. Mom was so mad, and Jim was just looking at her – not knowing what to do.
After I greeted mom with hugs and was able to redirect her to her room where Paul was, she was still upset. I have seen that look before and it was not a pleasant look. She kept saying he’s the one that knows what’s going on and he’s not telling any of us. It’s just not right! After we got her calmed down- never ask what is going on- only redirect. I suggested that her and Paul go out for a ride. Paul took my que and escorted mom out of the room. He told me later that she was upset for most of the ride.
I went out to say hello to Jim – as I usually do- he is one person that I would love to have the opportunity to talk to and here his story. He was fine and answered a few of my questions about how he was feeling and if he was having a good day. He asked me if I had seen his brother and I told him no, not today. I told him I would see him later and left- just as a normal visit.
I went over to the nurse and asked her what had happened- why Dorothy was so mad at Jim.
She told me that mom had been going around to each person individually and letting them know that the bus was coming to take them out. Dorothy thought that Jim was in charge, when she asked him what time the bus was coming, he did not answer. Of course, he had no idea what she was asking. And that point she got upset because she thought he was the one in charge and was keeping secrets. This of course ticked her totally off which led to her finger in his face. Did I mention it was the full moon? {-:
Wow- workplace drama in Memory Care. I’m sure it is a daily occurrence. I can’t imagine what everyone goes through on a daily basis-both individually and as a collective click.
I do know that I appreciate those who have the gift to assist the demented. God Bless them!
When we left mom, she was redirected and not in Jim face- I can’t tell you if she was in his face 45 seconds after we left or not- but when we left -she was at peace.
Love and Light,
Cheryl Doreen
Dorothy's Dementia 