I answer the phone- Dorothy is on the other line.  Mom says, “Hey Cheryl, I need your help”  and I prepare to listen to her song.  There’s a knock at her door- when she opens it- her voice changes to happiness.  Jan, her friend of over 30 years is standing on the other side.  Mom hands Jan the phone and we speak for a moment, I know mom is excited to visit (just like a little kid would be excited to see their friend) I don’t keep Jan long. Jan usually visits on Sunday afternoons- so, I know that this is a treat for Dorothy.  We hang up and a feeling of relaxation embraces me, and it feel good-  I know that for the next few hours mom will be just fine.

 Mom and Jan worked together at an assisted living for a long time. Mom has always spoken very highly of Jan and thinks the world of her.  I am so thankful, and mom is very blessed to have Jan take time out of her busy life to visit her.   

After a few hours Jan called me on her way home and we chatted.  She asked if it would be okay if she took mom out and about occasionally-absolutely was my response!   Feel free to take her where ever you’d like.

There are Angels here on earth — and Jan is one of them.

Find the time to visit, call or send some flowers to a “shut-in”, weather they are at home the hospital, or the “old folks home”.  It will lift their spirits and you will feel good knowing that you made someone smile.  (-:

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Some days mom surprises me- she called me several times today starting just past noon.  I answered and asked if everything was ok- yes! Was her happy response-did you come see me today and I miss you?  Did you bring me these flowers?    She was so happy to have a little gift that it brightened my day too- just to hear the delight in her voice.  

I told her that I was at work and that I did not bring the flowers-  maybe one of her friends brought them to her- she replied no” they don’t think like that”.  LOL,   she apologized for calling me at work and hung up.  She called several more times during the afternoon asking the same question. 

  I wonder how many times throughout the day she thought of this surprise? If everytime she looked at them, she was looking at them for the first time. If she was there when they gave them to her and she just doesn’t remember- it doesn’t matter. The gesture worked- she was a happy little girl.

At 6:15 she called again- with the happiness still in her voice – asking about the flowers.  She did not sing her song tonight- she was focused on the orange and yellow flowers that someone was thoughtful enough to surprise her with.   It really is the little things in life that make a huge impact.   Buy the flowers!

Life is good!

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Dorothy calls again and wonders why she is where she is.  Today her song has a new word.  Yes, word. When she starts telling me that the neighbors told Paul that she was inappropriate –her story changed – as you know- if you’re a regular reader- for coloring Easter Eggs to breaking green beans.  To- “shucking corn on the cobb in the front yard”.    I hate it- but I had to laugh out loud.  She asked why I was laughing- and I asked her why she thought her neighbors would think that was inappropriate.  Her answer was priceless “ well, I don’t know Cheryl – you’ll have to ask them.   LOLOL

I love you mom, I hate that you have the burden of this disease- but I love you.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

I was with friends at Ray’s on the River- if your ever in Atlanta or driving through in the spring put it on your bucket list.  I think it is a must stop for lunch or dinner- it sits right on the Chattahoochee and the river flows so peacefully. The outside grounds are beautiful any time of the year – but in the Spring the area is just bursting with beauty showing off all the colorful blooms.   

At 6:20 my phone rings, I laughed and said-sorry, it must be mom.  It was- and I answered and asked if all was okay.  She told me that she wanted me to know that they came and took Chuck back to the hospital- and she knew that I would want to know.   I told her thanks and that I would call his friend tomorrow to see what was up.  She called back 6 minutes later with the same news.  She did not call again.  

This morning my brother called me to tell me that he went to get her to take her out this morning and she was nowhere to be found.  He called her, and she answered- he asked her if she wanted to go for a ride and she declined.  She said that she was helping Chuck clean his room.  I laughed and told Paul what she had told me 15 hours earlier.  So- either Chuck made a miraculous recovery or someone else went to the hospital.

Paul was shocked that she did not want to “get out of jail”- but was happy that she had something more important to do.

I was too.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Fridays with Dorothy are always fun.  She never remembers that I’m coming, and she is so excited to see me.  

We do the normal routine- laundry, ironing, talking- well, mostly her singing- and the junk store run. 

Besides ironing- I think the junk store runs are her favorite.  It’s a church ran store called Revive- in Woodstock right off of Interstate 575 on Hwy 92.  Most of the things are gone within a week – some linger longer  and some never get purchased. Every time we walk in it’s like the first-time mom has ever seen it.  (0:

I’m comfortable with this routine- it is what it is.    And I’m very thankful for Spring- as soon as the pollen lightens up- I will have her outside raking, sweeping, planting and just enjoying Mother Earth.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

The phone rings- it’s 6:14 and it’s mom.  The first thing out of her mouth was—– When can I go home? 

 I don’t need to be here.  When I explained her circumstance, she went right into —I don’t have any memory issues here – and I was thinking that I don’t want to go back to my house. Because I don’t think there is somebody in the neighborhood that likes me. You need to find me someplace else to go. I asked why? She said, “didn’t I tell you about the dream I had”?   I said no- and she started into the story of the two teenage boys with the glass trying to pour something down her throat. (see previous posts for the whole story)  I sat back and listened to her.   Dorothy was singing her song.

It’s sundowners.  It sucks!  

I listen to this for 20 minutes- acknowledging every now and then that I was still on the line.  There was a break in the action and I asked her about her day- she told me she walked and was reading a book.  And started again on her song. 

She sang her song for a while and then asked me when I was coming to see her.  I responded like always- on Friday mom.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Dementia sucks! For those who have it- the ones that know they have it and the ones that don’t know they have it. It sucks for the family, friends and caregivers. It just Sucks!

But like everything in life – you have to figure out the best way to deal with it. If you can. Some people can’t and that’s okay. You are not judged by anyone- well- we are judged everyday by those that just sit and judge- but you shoudn’t be. You can only do what you can do. It is what it is. And — my favorite- You don’t know until you know.

Know what I mean?

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Mom called last night- but,not until 8:45.  I wondered about her when she didn’t call at the usual time – 6:15- but, I did not call her.  I know she is okay and in a safe place- she might not be where she wants to be but, she’s where we need her to be.   When she did call she told me her phone was broken and that someone at the front desk had helped her fix it.   She did not sing her song, she didn’t really have anything to say. 

She did ask when I was coming to get her- and I told her Friday.  She told me that she was reading and walking and that she was okay. I was happy for her more than me.

My brother called me today- and told me that mom called told him and said that her phone was broken and that he needed to come and fix it.  He laughed and told me that he told her that it must not be broken because she was talking to him on it.  She responded, “well it’s not working very good, so when you can – please come and fix it for me”.   He also said that she did not sing her song about coming home- I told him that was great! And that I’d rather hear about her phone than hear her song.  He agreed. 

Peace & Love, 

Cheryl Doreen

Dorothy’s first great grandson’s Birthday was this past Sunday. He turned 9- almost a decade old! Time flies.  I remember when I took her across the country to meet him for the first time.  She was so excited- so was her Granddaughter- it was a great memory for all of us. This was the visit that my daughter said to her grandmother “why didn’t you tell me that having children was going to be so much fun”.   

On Friday before I left, we picked out her outfit for the party- and I hung it on her bedroom door.  Bright yellow slacks- and a green sweater with a white t-shirt underneath. (-:  It’s Spring!  She would look really pretty.  We put a note on the clothes to remind her to put them on Sunday morning and that Paul would be there to pick her up and take her to the party.  

She called me Saturday morning at 8:30-LOL – I  knew she would.   She wanted to know if today was Sunday and if Paul would remember to come and get her.  Of course, I had to tell her she had one more day to wait.  She was in good spirits about it and it didn’t seem to bother her.  She called me two more times that morning. I acted like it was the first time she had called me and responded the same way. That’s all you can do- you can’t get upset- well you can, but why would you want to waste that energy being upset?

Sunday- Paul picked her up and brought her to the party- she did not call me about what to wear- I did not call her.  She showed up in the yellow pants and the white t-shirt, but she opted for a worn out black and white, oversized sweater to wear along with it.  That’s okay- maybe she was rebelling against me.   

Nobody really cared what she had on- we were just glad she was there to celebrate with us.

Peace & Love, 

Cheryl Doreen

When I pick up mom today – she was ready to go! LOL She was so happy to see me. After we gathered the dirty laundry- I went through her closet and cleaned out the winter coats, heavy sweaters and corduroys. I had to make room for Spring Color!

After we started the washer-we went through her spring collection of clothes- she was happy to see some reconizable items.

Then went to lunch and enjoyed the ride with the windows down soaking in the blue sky – sunshine and pollen. We stopped to get my hair trimmed and even before I sat in the chair she asked if she could get her hair cut too. Sure, why not? a new do looks great on all of us not to mention lifts our spirits. The ladies were happy to squeeze her in.

She likes the Jamie Lee Curtis look- and usually wears this most of the time. When she went into the “home” she refused to get her hair cut. I’m sure it was her way of rebelling- so I let her. She complained quite often of how the hair on her neck and eyes bothered her- but only agreed to get just a few inches cut off back in November. Today, she must of been tired of her rebel ways. She was back to looking like Jamie Lee. or Dorothy Lee as we lovingly know her- in not time.

When her friends saw her when we got back- they were all so excited to see her new look and kept telling her how nice it looked and how pretty she was. She was walking a little taller- her shoulders pushed back a little straighter and happiness was just overflowing from her aura.

Today was a good day!

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen