Its Tuesday the 18^thand I’m back at the hospital- Mom has just finished dinner and she’s very talkative.   

I don’t want to be here- why am I here- when are they going to come in and look at me?

A minute later:

I kind of want a comparison to your and Paul’s plans for me and what mine are:

Me: you are going to manor care as soon as they release you from the hospital

Then you’ll go back to your apartment in Woodstock

Dorothy: Ok- that sounds alright

3 minutes later it’s the same lyric.  (-: this circle lasts for a few minutes then the surgeon comes in to check up on her- says she is looking good and tells her that she will be okay.  It will take a while to get back to where you were- but you can do it.

He goes on his merry way and a moment later Dorothy looks at me and asks- Cheryl, why am I here?   

Thank God for Care Givers (-: 

❤

Breathe!

May God have Mercy on her soul.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

It was a beautiful ride to the hospital this morning and Dorothy was sound asleep when I walked in.   I woke her up and got her a cup of coffee and shortly after- breakfast arrived- scrambled eggs, potatoes and oatmeal.   She ate good and is drinking lots of cranberry juice.  UTI-    )-:  one of the worst things you can get in the hospital, hopefully they will start her on the antibiotic soon and she will start feeling better.

The Tech came and helped her walk with her walker to the chair- she’s getting stronger every day.  It will be interesting at rehab to see how she does – the hope is a speedy recovery so she can get back to her comfortable surroundings.

Paul and I are visiting with her and waiting on the doctor- not sure what will happen now with the infection – if they will keep her another day or not.  The room is all of a sudden full -with PT and Tech’s and Nurses. Getting her ready for PT.  

Paul and I slip out for a few hours.  And of course – the doctor came while we were gone.   I think sometimes, they linger at the end of the hall and wait for the families to leave. (-:

So, we wait until tomorrow to see what happens.

Understanding & Love,Cheryl Doreen

Dorothy had a much better night- no confusion- no wild night -they said she slept like a baby.  (-:   Paul and I went to the hospital together this morning- it’s going to be a busy day.  Mom will be released Tuesday or Wednesday- and we have to find a Rehab Center.   We’ve already done some word of mouth and internet research- we have a plan.  Availability is going to be the biggest challenge.

Mom is more alert and with it today (-:   and the Monday staff is here, and I must say it is so different than the weekend crew.   She still has no idea where she is and how she got her or what happened. 

She has a new verse for her song.  (0-:

Paul and I left and were gone most of the day and we had success.  I’ll admit it was difficult at times, and you know it’s true what they say, if you know how to play the game, you can be successful.

Just know that if your demented- or any elderly loved one falls- be prepared to make the tough decisions.

1. Do you know what hospital you want them to go to?  What one you don’t want them to go to?
2. Is it life threatening?  Can you refuse care- per their directive and wishes? Can they go to hospice? Are you ready for them to follow “the light”?  Are you prepared?  Remember we all get to die it’s tough but sometimes there are worse things than death.
3. What are the repercussions of the surgery?  Will they be worse off?  
4. Do you know anyone in the health care profession that you can reach out to for guidance? Assistance? Do you know if they have Medicare? Medicaid? Secondary Insurance? 
5. Are you all on the same page?

It is tough to make these decisions- especially if everyone is not on the same page, or if the questions were never asked- as to what will eventually be reality that will have to be faced head on. Make sure your head is in the right place.  Make sure your team is on the same page. Make it easy on yourself.

Know how to play the game, be prepared and play to win!

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Dorothy has a nurse who looks like Clark Kent- mom loves him!  

Jan, mom’s friend for over 30 + years came to see her this afternoon and it literally woke her up! Thanks Jan!   she was so “out of it” until you came.  She named the teddy bear Jerry, I’ll have to remember so I can remind her.  

  It’s 6:15 and I’m watching her get out of bed,even with help she fights to get to the bedside commode and back to bed- it has worn her out.  

  I would much rather her be calling me on the phone singing her song- than sitting here with her in this room.  

Last night was a tough night for mom- I hope her night is better tonight.

Peace & Love,Cheryl Doreen

Dorothy had a great day! She did physical therapy and occupational therapy today- three times.  She sat up in the chair for lunch and dinner- and lingered for a while she took a long nap and enjoyed the view out of her window.   She had a special treat later in the day- her granddaughter and great grandsons come for a visit.   We laughed at the boy’s funny stories and had a wonderful time. This was the highlight of the last few days

 After they left- the nurses came and helped her back to bed.  While she was waiting on the nurses, she was fidgeting with her IV and pulled it out.  Yes, blood was everywhere- she was so confused as to what was happening- this was all happening around the sundowners’ time.  They got her settled down and had to relocate her IV.  She was agitated and confused-I knew it was going to be a rough night.

After they got her settled down and comfortable in the bed, I was conflicted on if I should stay or go. I knew she had a long day with PT, OT and the exercises we had her do every hour. This along with the visit from the boys, I knew it was going to be a trying night.   The nurses told me that they would put the bed alert on and since she is located right outside the nurses’ desk- I knew the best thing for everyone was for me to go and get a good night’s sleep.

This is going to be tough- this is going to be long- this has put a new chapter in our lives.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Mom had a great night! Happy News!   When I arrived at the hospital at 8 this morning – I wasn’t sure what to expect.  When I waked into the room I was happy to see that she was sitting upright in the bed, eating breakfast- her face lit up when she saw me.   I said Good Morning Sunshine!   And of course, the first thing she asked was “where am I ?”.  I told her what had happened and were she was and what day it is.   It’s 9:28 and I’ve repeated this story 5 times.  She just can’t remember

Her room is busy with nurses coming in, checking vitals, giving meds and all the little things that nursed do- that we take for granted.  There is a huge picture window in moms’ room and the nurse moved her bed around so she can look outside -instead of the wall.  The view is gorgeous – this makes the say more relaxing and scenic. 

Dorothy is doing great- all her vitals are back to normal- she has even been able to do number 2.   LOLOL and you know what a relief this if you’ve ever been in the hospital and constipated- it’s the worse.   I hope this is not too much information. LOLOL but it’s huge for her recovery and we want it to go as smoothly and painless as possible.  

She is resting comfortably, and I am waiting patiently for the physical therapy folks.  This will be a huge hurdle, to see where she stands and what she will need – to help decide where she will have to go for the next few weeks while she is rehabilitated.

Paul and I are taking shifts today- he will be here at noon and I’ll take a break for a few hours.  I am so thankful that I have him and that he is willing to share in this journey the three of us are on.  

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Paul and I are back at the hospital at 8:45am- for a scheduled meeting with the doctor at 9:00.   After 45 minutes, the nurse comes in and I ask about the doctor.   Of course, he was in much earlier than 8:45- and the nurse said he could look at the orders and let us know what they are.   Disappointing is not a strong enough word for not being able to see with the doctor at the appointed time.  They are in high demand and very busy people- I get it, but……        The nurse told us what we needed to know.  Dorothy has a broken femur- on her left leg and we are going to secure it with nails.  The surgeon will be by later this afternoon to talk with us– we will be taking her down to the preop at 3:00.  

It’s 10:15 and we decide to go to Brookdale where mom has been staying and do some “clean up” in her room- she likes to horde things that we would normally throw away (I don’t think she knows what to do with them, so she keeps them).   She had at least 25 books sitting around- we took most of them back to the community library.  She had a plastic spoon collection and a Styrofoam cup collection; I don’t think she will miss them.    We also cleaned out her refrigerator and threw her collection of fresh (somewhat) fruit out.   We gathered her laundry and organized her closet.  

Before we left, we met with the director of nursing to see what steps we have to overcome in order for her to return to her apartment.   They will have to evaluate her upon release of the hospital to see if she is able to return to her place.  They do offer rehabilitation and physical therapy- which is happy news- we would prefer not to send her to another facility for rehab for a few weeks – then relocating her back to Brookdale.  

As I type this- we are still in preop and it’s 6:22 pm.   The confusion and restlessness that mom is experiencing is crazy- not to mention the patience that is wearing thin on Paul and me.  But we find ways to lighten the situation with laughter.   You have to laugh- or you’d go crazy.  (-:

It’s 6:40 and we just met the doctor.  This evening he informed us that they are putting a rod in her femur- not nails as the nurse stated this morning.  His bedside manor was great- and he made sure he focused on mom with eye contact and her understanding what was about to happen. Not that she remembers- but it was good to see this connection with doctor/patient.  He informed us that the surgery would be 1 ½ hours and then post op- so we are looking at a 10:00 Friday evening- leaving the hospital.  

Hats off to the entire staff that has interacted with mom.  They know she has dementia and are doing a great job of answering her questions time and time again.  

8:41 and we got the text- mom is out of surgery and all went well, she is in pre op.   Happy news!   We will wait until she gets in her room, then go get a good night’s sleep and see what tomorrow brings.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

I got the call today, that I didn’t want to hear.  (Don Henley- End of the Innocence- there is no refence to this in this post- but I like the line and love the song)  Brookdale- mom’s place of residence called and said that she had fallen and was in extreme pain and that they had called the Ambulance.  They needed to know where to transport her.  There is a new hospital just up the road from Woodstock in Canton, so I directed them there. (the same hospital that Chuck – her friend was in- and I took her up for a visit).

I was just about to walk into my grandboy’s play at the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta- when I got the call.  I called my daughter to let her know what was happening and drove the 45 minutes to Canton. It was a beautiful sunny, blue sky, cloudy day it was gorgeous, and the ride was very peaceful. 

When I walked into the Emergency room, she was very uncomfortable and very agitated.  She was happy to see me – but had no idea how she had gotten there or why she was there. Every few minutes she would ask the same questions. Over and over and over again.  She had to use the restroom and when they moved her up on the bedpan her pain was excruciating.  They cannot load her up with morphine all at once and it took them several hours to get her calm and pain free. After they got her stabilized, she was in and out- and not in pain.  The emergency room doctor diagonises broken hip.

Before they admitted her- they came in and did x-rays-it was very painful for her to be moved around for the pictures.  But once that was done, they moved her quickly up to her room.  It’s a coincidence- that she got the same room as her friend Chuck had when he was in the last time.   

There was nothing else that Paul or I could do for mom and she was resting comfortably.  So, we headed out- to try to rest to be back in the morning to the doctor – after the xrays were read.

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen

Mom started calling at noon today – she’s having another bad day.   She has no idea what day it is or what happened today- what she had for breakfast-or what happened three minutes ago.    And to be honest- I’m not in the mood for this today- but I suck it up and look past the disease and just focus on Dorothy.  That’s what it’s about- mom.  So, I put her on mute- breathe in and out- and try to not listen or take it seriously- I have found when I don’t feel like listening- this is the best thing to do- just be there, but, block it out.  

Some days are hard for me to be on the receiving end of the struggle that she endures.  I totally understand why people cannot deal with their loved ones in this situation.  I’m sure it becomes a chore and a burden- and when it comes to that level for me- I will have to decide what to do about it.   

I don’t think I will have a hard time letting go- and scaling back from what I do now.  I do not want to remember mom as a burden- or put her on mute all the time or get frustrated.  It’s not about me. 

So, as I have her on mute and she is singing her song, I reflect on all the good times we had- I try to go way back to when the family was a family- growing up on Cherry Street in Germantown, Ohio.   These were some of the happiest moments of my life.  Listen to “The Innocent Age”- Dan Fogelberg 

Peace & Love, 

Cheryl Doreen

It’s Sunday- and Paul got mom and brought her back to her old house- my house now-  I purchased it from her-and I’m in the final renovations. It has been a long haul- but it will be worth it.  I’m purging, downsizing and getting ready for my next 25 years of life.  I will be glad when this year is over, and all of this is behind me.  It’s been tiresome- to say the least- purging is the hardest thing, but- I do not want to leave all my material “treasures” behind for my children, grandchildren to deal with.  

I wanted mom to come over to help with cleaning- she still likes to be useful and feel as though she is important. What is more important than cleaning the kitchen- including the cabinets?   She was happy to be “out” and very happy to do something helpful.   She did a great job- she must have cleaned the same thing 7 times- which is ok- she is feeling good about herself.   

Paul took her back after about 4 hours- and he stopped at the Ice Cream store to get her a sundae.  He said that once in the car and around the corner, she had no idea where she had been or what she had done.   She truly is only in the moment.   

She called at the normal time, singing her song, unaware of the fantastic day she just spent with two of her children – with lunch and ice cream to top it off.  I listened patiently to her song, then she told me something I’d never heard before.  “Cheryl, did you know they are building a walking path here- that goes all around the building?” I’ so excited- I can’t wait until it is completed- it’s a concrete walkway that goes all around the apartments.  I replied that this was the first I’d heard of it – and she proceeded to talk about it for 5 minutes.  

She then asked how the kids and great grandkids were doing and after that was at a loss of what else to talk about.   I could tell she was not ready to end the conversation, so I asked her to tell me about the walking path that they were building.  She replied to me like I was crazy- “I do not know what you are talking about- they are not building anything like that here- there is no way that would happen.”   I apologized and told her I misunderstood- and she changed the subject back to kids and great grandkids.   

Breathe in Breathe out!

Enjoy the moments, they are what we have in the moment.   “Love the one you’re with “Crosby, Stills and Nash

Peace & Love,

Cheryl Doreen